Hot Octopuss Kurve Review

Hot Octopuss

Hot Octopuss are an award winning UK based sex toy company, initially made famous by their innovative vibrators for penises. Since their inception back in 2013, they have progressed on to make powerful toys for all genders and genital configurations.

Today I am reviewing the Kurve, a chic little G-spot vibrator with a few tricks up its sleeve!

The Hot Octopuss Kurve and branded storage bag
The Hot Octopuss Kurve in all its glory

So, what’s so special?

The Hot Octopuss Kurve is a moderately sized toy designed for vaginal penetration. I have a vast selection of vibrators of this ilk, but the Kurve has several unique features that I decided made it worthy of being added to my collection!

Most notably, the Kurve has two independent motors, a feature generally reserved for traditional dual-stimulators, more famously known as “rabbit” vibrators. Not only are there two motors, they intentionally produce two different styles of vibration – Hot Octopuss have gone so far as to patent this Trebel and Bass™ technology. Intriguing.

The Kurve boasts a six button interface to tailor this Treble and Bass™ experience. The buttons are large and raised, and the + and – controls are actually shaped like a + and – making them easily accessible. Holding either of the buttons for a couple of seconds activates its respective motor meaning you can use one on with the other off.

The Treble motor is located in the tip of the toy with the Bass one around the middle of the shaft. There are 5 levels of intensity for each motor and an additional 4 patterns as well as constant vibration. The + button increases the intensity while the – (you’ve guessed it) decreases the intensity. There are an additional two small round buttons towards the base. The one on the Bass cycles through the pattern settings and the one on the Treble side turns both motors off in tandem.

Another feature that sets the Kurve apart is the tip. It’s squishy, while the rest of the shaft is rigid. I’ll say it again – IT’S SQUISHY! This is not commonly seen in body-safe sex toys so this is what actually secured my purchase… I’m a simple creature!

The Hot Octopuss Kurve and accessories
I am infatuated with the Kurve’s colour scheme

…and what do I think?

I am so into the aesthetics of this toy. The burgundy silicone, gold buttons and the metallic burgundy to black fade on the handle are just *chef’s kiss*. Everything about it just feels sensual, from the soft silicone skin and the smooth ABS handle, to the sleek curve and that bulbous marshmallowy tip. The Kurve is one sexy sex toy.

The packaging does it justice while not being extravagant (no pictures this time, sorry!). The box has the same burgundy to black fade which makes it look luxurious, while also being cardboard based with no unnecessary plastic. Yes, please. Inside you get the toy, some instructions, a USB charger cable, and a branded storage bag, so just the essentials.

First impressions of the motors were very positive. In sex toy reviewer language, the Treble motor is a little buzzy, while the Bass is super rumbly. Both are of decent strength but when combined together are fucking awesome!

The Kurve excels the most at what it is designed for. The curve and the gentle swelling of the squishy tip are really comfortable to insert and latch onto my G-spot with no faffing around. To my delight, the shape fits my body so well I can leave it in place handsfree. As a lazy masturbator, this gets a full thumbs up from me!

Each motor feel discernibly different, but with the Bass easily being my favourite. This is both because of its rumbliness, but also where the motor is located. For my body, when the Kurve is inserted, the Bass motor sits just by the entrance to my vagina where it is the most receptive to vibrations. I don’t notice the Treble’s vibrations as much, it is the shape that gives me more G-spot stimulation.

A view of the curved shape of the Hot Octopuss Kurve
Oof – That Kurve tho!

Some disappointment…

I am apparently in the minority that actually uses pattern settings on vibrators – but only internally.

Admittedly, I did not read the manual first which resulted in lots of frustrated button mashing and some disappointment that the toy didn’t function how I’d hoped…

See, I had expected the pattern functions to have been customisable in each motor – they are not, you can only adjust the overall intensity. I had wrongly assumed you could have one pattern running on one motor and a different one on the other. My bad!

The Hot Octopuss Kurve’s control panel
These buttons are so accessible

Another tiny downer: I like toys that are versatile and can be used externally as well as internally. The buzzier motor in the tip, coupled with the squish that I am otherwise infatuated with, means I don’t get as much as I would like from the Kurve if I want to use it clitorally. It’s okay, the vibrations certainly aren’t weak and I can orgasm, but it requires effort – remember, I’m a Lazy Masturbator!

The takeaway

Look, my two gripes with the Kurve are pretty dumb. The first one is because I thought it had a function that it didn’t (d’oh!) and the second is just my clitoris being a snob!

The shape, build quality, materials and vibrations are all excellent. This is a luxury toy which every inch feels it and earns its price tag.

The Hot Octopuss Kurve is comfortable, stylish and powerful G-spot vibrator I am glad to have in my artillery. It would be cool to see a second incarnation with more patterns and customisation abilities… just sayin’!


Tech Specs:
  • Length: 7.5 inches
  • Insertable length: 4.5 inches
  • Circumference: 4.5 inches
  • Settings: 5 levels of intensity, 5 patterns (including constant vibration)
  • Waterproof?: Yes
  • USB rechargeable?: Yes
Pros:
  • It’s beautiful!
  • The two motors which produce a new sensation – great for those that enjoy internal vibrations
  • The Bass motor is really rumbly
  • Comfy squishy head
  • Easy to find buttons
Cons:
  • Not as customisable as I thought!
  • Treble motor is a bit buzzy
  • Doesn’t work reliably enough as a clit vibe for me, so not versatile by my standards
  • The 4 patterns are a bit lacklustre and uninspiring

The Hot Octopuss Kurve retails for £99.95 and is available directly from Hot Octopuss.

I bought this product myself and this review is not sponsored.

Affiliate links have been used in this post – please buy through them to support the blog!

You Might Also Like

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Back to top